All I've been thinking about recently is wedding vows and what they mean. It is no secret that 7 years ago we eloped. We never had a big wedding; we didn't even tell anyone for the first couple of years. In the past I may have been hesitant to talk about it, but it is now in our distant past. The thing that I am the most grateful for is the gift of perspective and the inevitable wisdom that you gain along the way. But what can we say for the naiveté and ignorance of youth? ...other than we all go through the blinding narcissism that tells you at such a vulnerable young age that you must be with this person or else you're just going to DIE! Calm down there Sally, the world will carry on just fine if you wait a few months/years. I like to call it the Romeo and Juliet complex. So although there are some things I would change if I could go back...what has led Kevin and I to where we are today, is something I could never regret.
Thinking back to our elopement, they had us recite very traditional wedding vows, and me being the sentimental sap that I am, I was thinking of all of the different things that have occurred in the last 7 years that have rang true for what we recited on that cold, snowy day in Maine, the day after Christmas.
I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.
Kevin has literally been my best friend from the moment he asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt an instant (and almost electric) connection with him. I remember the day that we met...it was as if I had known him...as if I had met him before...something that still spooks me to this day if I think about it too much. There was something familiar and kindred. Something safe and warm. Something I still feel to this day...
In the presence of God, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health.
A few months ago I underwent one of the scariest things I've endured in my short life. I was terrified beyond belief as nurses were poking me with needles, swabbing my eye with iodine, and injecting anesthesia into my arm. All I kept thinking was, "Please calm Kevin's nerves." I knew exactly what it was like being on the other side, being the helpless spouse that couldn't do anything to ease the situation. I knew he was scared for me when I glanced up into his glassy eyes as he kissed me on the forehead before they wheeled me into the O.R. He told me later that it took everything in him to not lose his composure in the waiting room.
In good times and in bad.
...Like the time we thought we couldn't make it through recruiting duty. Transitioning from California to Maine was initially exciting but several months of being a stranger in a new town, with no friends, piles of homework, and very little money...it was challenging to say the least. I missed my friends, my family, and it was so uncomfortably cold and dreary that New England's charm was quickly wearing off as soon as the negative temperatures appeared. But now looking back on those two years, it made us incredibly strong as a couple. That was our test, and we passed it with flying colors.
In joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you.
The first death in the family I ever experienced was in my early twenties. I was absolutely crushed. I remember sinking to the floor on my knees sobbing in a silent house. My cries echoing off the walls as Kevin cradled me in his lap. I cried heavily for 10 minutes straight; my eyes buried into his sleeve, soaking it completely through. Many years later I would experience two more family deaths, equally as painful, with Kevin there by my side...mourning those he had lost as well.
...or the countless times that we sat in our living room, with the TV turned off, playing board games, or talking the night away; laughing at each other, or with each other until our stomaches could no longer endure the pain.
Through it all, we have given each other the utmost respect. The term "respect" itself means deep admiration. I believe in everything he does; in everything he attempts, and everything he dreams. Like the time he told me he wanted to become a Marine Corps Officer...or the time he said he wanted to become a pilot...or the time he said he wanted to work for NASA (he's still working on that one).
To cherish you for as long as we both shall live.
Over the 7 years I have come to learn that love can be a complex thing that isn't always the picture of perfection (and is laughable really, when you look back on some of the pointless arguments). All couples bicker, all couples get on one another's nerves, and all
To this day when I think about how deep my love for this man runs, it makes me not only appreciative but grateful. He is my other half...a piece of my soul. As Kevin likes to say, "When I try to imagine what it would be like without you, it doesn't make sense. A world where you aren't mine, doesn't make sense."
Because the longer you're married you realize that love is an evolution of two minds and souls together as one...constantly changing and evolving together. It isn't any wonder why the yin and yang is often used to depict love (my favorite symbol). It represents contrasting elements; two distinct entities that are a part of one another. Light and dark. Good and bad. Hot and cold. Masculine and feminine. But also the contrasting duality of two beings. I am the yin to his yang.
On our 7th anniversary, this is dedicated to you...my yang.
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